Janet Paschal - Homecoming Mag.

Carrying On
by Joy Mackenzie
Homecoming, The Magazine (May-June 2005)

GOD WILL MAKE A WAY
Must have felt strange to end up stranded between an army and a sea / They must have felt forsaken wondering why God wasn't all He said He'd be / When your back's again, the wall / It's the hardest place of all / But somewhere between provision and impossi-bility God will make a way / When there seems to be no way / Forever He is faithful / He will make a road When you bear a heavy load / I know God will make a way.
When a wall of circumstances leaves you crying in the night / And you struggle 'til your strength almost gone / God will gently hold you in the shelter of His heart / And carve a road for you to carry on / So carry on.

   Anyone who knows and loves Janet Paschal has undoubtedly heard her sing those lyrics she wrote nearly a decade ago. Today, Janet is "carrying on," challenged by a journey she did not expect she would be making-in January, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But she has been energized and encouraged by her belief that God will indeed "make a way." Her experience is that God is doing just that!

   In a recent newsletter, Janet explains: "Remember I told you that my friend said this process would show you who you are, as the layers are peeled away and the deepest core of yourself is exposed? I didn't quite understand what he meant at the time, but I think I am learning. During the early days of tests, fear, shock, etc., I felt as though I was watching from a distance, scrutinizing someone else's faith, watching for fractures or weak spots. I really did not know how I would react. I fully expected to go through a gamut of emotions which included 'Why me? Why now, Is this fair?' and I can honestly (and happily) say that I have never felt any inclination toward those questions at all.

   Statistically, our family was due (1 woman in 7 this year), and I am, in fact, grateful to be plowing through this in lieu of my mother or my sister. Not only has my faith not been shaken, but it has not been tapped, or analyzed, or called into question to any degree... I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT. It must be that the Lord gives extra grace, just as others have said. It has reminded me so often of my grandmother who stood in the face of her worried family and dared them to doubt the Lord's sovereignty. Frederick Buechner wrote of his own grandmother whom he likened to the large rocks near the shoreline; weathered and battered, but unmoved and unshaken. I continue to see the Lord's hand in every little detail. I'm beginning to think He especially likes details. I'm amazed at the way He prepares us, the people He brings to us, the day-to-day 'ordinaries' He orchestrates. I am inundated with cards, books, flowers, notes, email-all of which are in plain view from where I am now sitting. How blessed can you get?"

   Janet is not the only one for whom God is ordering a way. In a 3 a.m. letter, written between the last two chemotherapy treatments, John refers to a particularly poignant paragraph he had read in Watchman Nee's The Normal Christian Life. He paraphrases this thought: "We can believe only one of two reports: Satan's which is represented by the outward, mostly physical realm where our old man resides, or God's which is spiritual and mostly unseen, and is almost always in conflict with what our physical senses tell us.

   "Janet and I have embraced what is embodied in that seemingly small paragraph. We believe the report of the Lord, even if the outward appearances SEEM to state otherwise; anything that contradicts the report of the Lord is a LIE! It seems so simple in principle; the words are really easy to type and recite. Yet when Janet is totally consumed by medicinal poisons, and her eyes look into yours with no sparkle, dull with pain, thats where the battle really lies. We now simply exchange looks and both start reciting, 'We
believe the report of the Lord!"

   Janet's last scheduled round of chemotherapy was March 30th, followed by a lumpectomy, then radiation.

  "Oh yes," she says. "I signed on for the smorgasbord-a little taste of everything."